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Post by doccreed on Sept 2, 2018 1:51:08 GMT
Yeah, not a fun, glamorous subject. I noticed many of us here struggle with it from time to time. I've been spinning my wheels lately, kind of lost. I hold fast to my faith and I know God has not left me but this is a different type of pain and isolation. Much of it is by my own design but even in the greatest of circumstances a person can be weighed down with various mental afflictions...loneliness, stress, worry, you name it. With that said, I know I will be back to my normal self soon...it is just a mind game, a waiting game. What do you guys do when it settles over you?
This thread is for people who have any practical advice for dealing with depression. I know it is different for each person but here's hoping something said here will help someone.
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Post by neesy on Sept 2, 2018 18:06:08 GMT
Yeah, not a fun, glamorous subject. I noticed many of us here struggle with it from time to time. I've been spinning my wheels lately, kind of lost. I hold fast to my faith and I know God has not left me but this is a different type of pain and isolation. Much of it is by my own design but even in the greatest of circumstances a person can be weighed down with various mental afflictions...loneliness, stress, worry, you name it. With that said, I know I will be back to my normal self soon...it is just a mind game, a waiting game. What do you guys do when it settles over you?
This thread is for people who have any practical advice for dealing with depression. I know it is different for each person but here's hoping something said here will help someone.
Don't know if this will help but maybe try to get outside in the fresh air and sunshine. Move around a bit more, even if it's just walking outdoors.
If the weather gets bad, I notice there are some people who go to the mall a half hour before most of the stores open and "mall walk".
I was surprised recently because I went over to the mall and Andy was going to meet me there (I think he was dropping his truck off to get fixed then waiting for them to look it over).
I went there and noticed the door by the credit union was open so went in and it turns out that this credit union opens a half hour before the stores (they open at 9 and most stores open at 9:30)
Figure this might help me this coming winter - If I don't feel like driving over to the gym for a full workout I'll just pop over to the mall for a bit of mall walking. I noticed it was mostly older people and quite a few were Asian, but it's not a social event - just a way to get the blood flowing.
Do you find you get more sad when the colder weather comes? doccreed - I know you are down South so not sure how bad the winter is down there
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Post by doccreed on Sept 2, 2018 18:27:09 GMT
Thanks; for me, being outdoors is a necessity. I sat in the sun this morning with a book but sometimes I end up staring into the distance, listening to the birds. It's almost like my eyes are windows and I'm looking out...my mind is recording everything dispassionately. Other times, I'm in the moment, drinking in the simple goodness of life. Even the bees and dragonflies and ants have a purpose and a momentum; no time for self pity. Ha.
Yeah, the colder months (as brief as they are down here) wear me down. I like the cold and the changing seasons but I prefer spring and summer. Longer days, more sun. Must be a bipolar thing.
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Post by neesy on Sept 2, 2018 20:36:42 GMT
Thanks; for me, being outdoors is a necessity. I sat in the sun this morning with a book but sometimes I end up staring into the distance, listening to the birds. It's almost like my eyes are windows and I'm looking out...my mind is recording everything dispassionately. Other times, I'm in the moment, drinking in the simple goodness of life. Even the bees and dragonflies and ants have a purpose and a momentum; no time for self pity. Ha.
Yeah, the colder months (as brief as they are down here) wear me down. I like the cold and the changing seasons but I prefer spring and summer. Longer days, more sun. Must be a bipolar thing. Maybe you have a touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
You can borrow my teddy!
e032
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Post by hollygolightly on Sept 3, 2018 3:05:11 GMT
doccreed Sending you a big virtual hug! Yes, as you know, I've been there. My depression manifests as anxiety - I learned - while caring for someone I love who was mentally ill - that depression shows itself three ways: sadness, anxiety and anger. You mentioned bipolar in your response to neesy - are you bipolar? I have a good friend who is and just a couple of years ago, the medication that had been working so beautifully for years started giving her bad side effects - something to do with the changing hormones of a woman in her fifties - but OMG - trying to keep her "ok" while the doctors figured her meds out was a challenge. But she's made it. So yes, there's medication and there's getting thru to the other side that you know is coming. I'm an open book about it, so ask me anything - I'm both terrified of it, and intrigued by it - what happened to me, I mean. I'd shut the internet down with my rambling about it. It's happened to me twice. Once was Postpartum depression - manifesting as anxiety over my newborn. 3 months (and 30 lbs!) of paxil fixed me right up. That was Feb 2001. The next time it happened was Oct 2014 - I woke up on Halloween morning with my heart pounding so hard and I couldn't catch my breath, I felt like I was wrapped up in a blanket of fear - and since I'm Catholic, I was convinced it had something to do with evil, and all souls day coming up the next day - I made up all kinds of reasons. That very day my husband and his sister had to fly down to Florida to see if it was time to pull the plug on their dad (my beloved father in law) - he was dying from cancer. So my support system up and left me with all the kids and my nervous breakdown. It was very religious - and surreal - I had auditory hallucinations even. It was Dec before anyone could get me to a dr - that's a funny story - my sister in law had to show up at my office and force me to go. My father in law was dying and no one had time for me to be going nutso. So my sister in law took me to Dr. Feelgood. He was such a kind man. I wasn't making any damn sense and he's an internal medicine guy, not a shrink. So he and my sister in law discussed my options: I needed to sleep (I hadn't slept more than a couple hours a night, or worked out at the gym or eaten with any regularity for two months). So he put me on klonopin and wanted to see me back in two weeks. By then I was sleeping, so we cut the bedtime dose. I saw him every month for almost 2 years - to get my meds and talk. He is a family friend of my brother in law's father (my sister in law's father in law) So he sort of counseled me and weaned me off the meds slowly. Meanwhile, at home, the Ogre was planting flowers and hanging bird feeders and keeping me occupied - getting me out of my head. It was a good 2 years before I could say I was back to my normal me. Now 4 years later, I'm better than I have been in ages. By the grace of God and learning from my lessons: I had to learn to say no to demands on my time that were impossible. I had to cut ties with toxic people. I had to take care of me. I guess the moral of my story, and dear old Dr. P's advise: Meds: If you need 'em, you need 'em. So, first, make sure you are properly medicated if need be. Then make sure you are taking care of the basics; get plenty of good sleep, good healthy food, sunshine, vitamins, spend time doing things you love. For me that's birds, flowers, exercise, time outside, time with my husband, play time with my dogs, I clean house, I cut the grass. If I sit and think too long, that's not a good thing. My husband was invaluable to my healing. He could tell when I'd start ruminating and he'd start asking me questions. We'd list our favorite cartoons from the 70s, we'd make music lists on spotify: rain songs, songs from 80s movies, favorite songs from the roller skating rink; When your head is a toxic place, it's best not to dwell there.
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Post by hollygolightly on Sept 3, 2018 3:20:53 GMT
I think I ran out - we must have a maximum word count! Sorry - boy, that's a lot up there. And that's just the bones of it. So one more thing I think helps me: being barefoot. I tended to the plants, flowers and yard barefoot.. I'm outside in the grass, no shoes or socks. every day for about 30 mins - sometimes more. I'm going to have to get some kind of indoor yard to plant my feet in this winter. I have myself convinced that it helps. I've read about it - it's called "earthing". Sheesh - we just all went barefoot when I was a kid and I never really lost the habit. It's just that now I practice it.  There are at least two threads over on the SKMB about this: the one I started during my lost time: Have you ever lost your mind? and another one that HipMommaJen started when Robin Williams died: Depression, Anxiety, Suicide - you'll find out just how many of us there are here and on the SKMB. It was so good (but sad, too) to hear everyone's story. And it was so good to know I wasn't alone. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but I like to hear about other people's struggles, offer my own story, and figure it out together. There were a couple of blogs that helped me. One is hyperboleandahalf dot com - Ally Brosch is famous for this blog - there's a two part series on her struggle with depression - you'll laugh and cry with her. And renegademothering dot com - Janelle Hanchett is my hero. Her problem was alcoholism, but she also struggled/struggles with depression. She turned me on to Mindfulness. It helps. But nothing was ever as helpful as hearing from other friends who lived it and got thru it. Just knowing it would be getting better helped me. And, it goes without saying, if you are feeling drawn to self harm - don't do it. Pick up the phone and tell someone they need to come save you from yourself. This, from skimom2 (Autumn) is still printed out and stuck to a wall in my office:  ![]() Attachments:
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Post by doccreed on Sept 3, 2018 3:28:50 GMT
doccreed Sending you a big virtual hug! Yes, as you know, I've been there. Mine depression manifests as anxiety - I learned - while caring for someone I love who was mentally ill - that depression shows itself three ways: sadness, anxiety and anger. You mentioned bipolar in your response to neesy - are you bipolar? I have a good friend who is and just a couple of years ago, the medication that had been working so beautifully for years started giving her bad side effects - something to do with the changing hormones of a woman in her fifties - but OMG - trying to keep her "ok" while the doctors figured her meds out was a challenge. But she's made it. So yes, there's medication and there's getting thru to the other side that you know is coming. I'm an open book about it, so ask me anything - I'm both terrified of it, and intrigued by it - what happened to me, I mean. I'd shut the internet with my rambling about it. It's happened to me twice. Once was Postpartum depression - manifesting as anxiety over my newborn. 3 months (and 30 lbs!) of paxil fixed me right up. That was Feb 2001. The next time it happened was Oct 2014 - I woke up on Halloween morning with my heart pounding so hard and I couldn't catch my breath, I felt like I was wrapped up in a blanket of fear - and since I'm Catholic, I was convinced it had something to do with evil, and all souls day coming up the next day - I made up all kinds of reasons. That very day my husband his sister had to fly down to Florida to see if it was time to pull the plug on their dad (my beloved father in law) - he was dying from cancer. So my support system up and left me with all the kids and my nervous breakdown. It was very religious - and surreal - I had auditory hallucinations even. It was Dec before anyone could get me to a dr - that's a funny story - my sister in law had to show up at my office and force me to go. My father in law was dying and no one had time for me to be going nutso. So my sister in law took me to Dr. Feelgood. He was such a kind man. I wasn't making any damn sense and he's an internal medicine guy, not a shrink. So he an my sister in law discussed my options: I needed to sleep (I hadn't slept more than a couple hours a night, or worked out at the gym or eaten with any regularity for two month). So he put me on klonopin and wanted to see me back in two weeks. By then I was sleeping, so we cut the bedtime dose. I saw him every month for almost 2 years - to get my meds and talk. He is a family friend of my brother in law's father (my sister in law's father in law) So he sort of counseled me and weaned me off the meds slowly. Meanwhile, at home, the Ogre was planting flowers and hanging bird feeders and keeping me occupied - getting me out of my head. It was a good 2 years before I could say I was back to my normal me. Now 4 years later, I'm better than I have been in ages. By the grace of God and learning from my lessons: I had to learn to say no to demands on my time that were impossible. I had to cut ties with toxic people. I had to take care of me. I guess the moral of my story, and deal old Dr. P's advise: Meds: If you need 'em, you need 'em. So, first, make sure you are properly medicated if need be. Then make sure you are taking care of the basics; get plenty of good sleep, good healthy food, sunshine, vitamins, spend time doing things you love. For me that's birds, flowers, exercise, time outside, time with my husband, play time with my dogs, I clean house, I cut the grass. If I sit and think too long, that's not a good thing. My husband was invaluable to my healing. He could tell when I'd start ruminating and he'd start asking me questions. We'd list our favorite cartoons from the 70s, we'd make music lists on spotify: rain songs, songs from 80s movies, favorite songs from the roller skating rink; When your head is a toxic place, it's best not to dwell there.
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Post by hollygolightly on Sept 3, 2018 3:43:49 GMT
Careful what you wish for doccreed - you're going to end up married with six children over the next 10 years and working until you're 75 to pay for proms, college and weddings!! I forgot another things that helps me: volunteering. Staying busy doing something for others is always a fast track to feeling good. I had always thought that it would be depressing working with the needy & poor. I started volunteering at our local emergency housing for children taken from their parents. I was part of a group of women who had pizza parties for the kids, monthly birthday parties for them, Christmas gifts, painting the rooms. I was shocked at how much I loved that. I was there a few times a month. But a few years of it and I got burnt out. I had a couple more kids, got a busier lifestyle. But last year a friend invited to me help at another shelter for the homeless. I'm hooked again. I go once a month. It's all I can do right now. But it's something. It's important and not at all about me. Funny Dr P story: he told me that I really probably needed anti-depressants, but my sister in law halted him and said: we ain't got time for that - that stuff takes weeks to work - we need her better NOW. And Dr P said: yeah, and she definitely doesn't need the weight gain.  But word to the wise: klonopin is for anxiety, and as such, is in itself a kind of depressant, so while I was on it, I wasn't in the freaked out panicked state that I'd been in, but as I put that behind me, I do feel the klonopin kept me from being "happy" - in the sense of happiness being more than just the absence of "unhappiness". I think that makes sense. In other words, the klonopin helped, but it wasn't until after I got off of it completely that I was really able to enjoy life again. If you are managing without meds, you are not likely bipolar. My friend did some stupid stuff. Upended her life more times than anyone should. Crazy stuff. That is one mental illness that must be managed. |
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Post by osnafrank on Sept 3, 2018 21:09:04 GMT
Yeah, not a fun, glamorous subject. I noticed many of us here struggle with it from time to time. I've been spinning my wheels lately, kind of lost. I hold fast to my faith and I know God has not left me but this is a different type of pain and isolation. Much of it is by my own design but even in the greatest of circumstances a person can be weighed down with various mental afflictions...loneliness, stress, worry, you name it. With that said, I know I will be back to my normal self soon...it is just a mind game, a waiting game. What do you guys do when it settles over you?
This thread is for people who have any practical advice for dealing with depression. I know it is different for each person but here's hoping something said here will help someone.
Anger. Be in a Rage. I'm not a religious Person(I',m an Atheist) ( i don't judge my Friend) so there is no one ...to...prayfor. Be in a Rage...against ...everything and everybody...thats Ok for me !! |
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Post by osnafrank on Sept 3, 2018 21:15:29 GMT
Sorry doccreed, i'm not very helpful. And i know, it's not the best Advice But it's the one that helps ME |
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Post by doccreed on Sept 3, 2018 21:16:44 GMT
Yeah, not a fun, glamorous subject. I noticed many of us here struggle with it from time to time. I've been spinning my wheels lately, kind of lost. I hold fast to my faith and I know God has not left me but this is a different type of pain and isolation. Much of it is by my own design but even in the greatest of circumstances a person can be weighed down with various mental afflictions...loneliness, stress, worry, you name it. With that said, I know I will be back to my normal self soon...it is just a mind game, a waiting game. What do you guys do when it settles over you?
This thread is for people who have any practical advice for dealing with depression. I know it is different for each person but here's hoping something said here will help someone.
Anger. Be in a Rage. I'm not a religious Person(I',m an Atheist) ( i don't judge my Friend) so there is no one ...to...prayfor. Be in a Rage...against ...everything and everybody...thats Ok for me !!
I have a friend who teaches kick boxing and he used to try to get me to join his class. |
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Post by osnafrank on Sept 3, 2018 21:25:25 GMT
Anger. Be in a Rage. I'm not a religious Person(I',m an Atheist) ( i don't judge my Friend) so there is no one ...to...prayfor. Be in a Rage...against ...everything and everybody...thats Ok for me !!
I have a friend who teaches kick boxing and he used to try to get me to join his class. Focus your Anger.....against everything you hate....watch into the Sky, the blue blue Sky you Love. Scream and destroy something. The Blue Sky isn't your Enemy, you love it, we all love te Blue Sky.....fly off the Handle my Friend !! ! |
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Post by osnafrank on Sept 7, 2018 21:37:23 GMT
I got some bad News this Week.
I don't know how to deal with it
We'll see 
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Post by morgan on Sept 7, 2018 22:34:32 GMT
I got some bad News this Week.
I don't know how to deal with it
We'll see  Oh no osnafrank - hope it's nothing too bad! Sending you big hugs.
I took your advice about getting angry and re-watched Fight Club. Pretended I was the one kicking everyone's a$$! 
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Post by spideyman on Sept 7, 2018 22:44:38 GMT
Frank-- being an atheist is fine. I'll do the praying and you let your rage/ anger go forth into the universe. I was raised Catholic, but over time questioned a lot. I am still a firm believer in a Higher Power-- Source, just not the structure of organized religion.
As most from SKMB know, my issue is anxiety- panic during tropical season. The responsibilities of the critters. I try to find my "Pooh"-- as he just is-- the process of letting go, but am often Eeyore the worrier.
Mediation is a great healer/ relaxer. I to garden and have a great love for nature. Getting older has put some limitation, so I've been crafting. Ways to off set the tape in ones mind of worries and anxiety.
Frank-- look to that blue sky, the stars at night, the wind as it blows over you. Feel the comfort of slow rain. Be one with nature-- answers will come.
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Post by morgan on Sept 7, 2018 22:59:50 GMT
Frank-- being an atheist is fine. I'll do the praying and you let your rage/ anger go forth into the universe. I was raised Catholic, but over time questioned a lot. I am still a firm believer in a Higher Power-- Source, just not the structure of organized religion. As most from SKMB know, my issue is anxiety- panic during tropical season. The responsibilities of the critters. I try to find my "Pooh"-- as he just is-- the process of letting go, but am often Eeyore the worrier. Mediation is a great healer/ relaxer. I to garden and have a great love for nature. Getting older has put some limitation, so I've been crafting. Ways to off set the tape in ones mind of worries and anxiety. Frank-- look to that blue sky, the stars at night, the wind as it blows over you. Feel the comfort of slow rain. Be one with nature-- answers will come.  |
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Post by hollygolightly on Sept 9, 2018 14:51:46 GMT
@osnafrank Peace to you as your cope with your bad news. spideyman That is good advice, sweetness! I too tend to be an Eeyore. |
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Post by docpain2 on Sept 9, 2018 15:04:44 GMT
I have had many issues, ranging from anger, insomnia (decades worth) and depression. The biggest change in my life was starting yoga and meditation on a regular basis. Both of these have taught me the power of non-attachment.
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Post by doccreed on Sept 9, 2018 18:17:38 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2018 19:34:03 GMT
I got some bad News this Week.
I don't know how to deal with it
We'll see I'm sorry you received bad news, it's hard to stand by and see a good person in pain. If anger is your coping mechanism and you are not harming/hurting yourself or anyone else than go for it. I just wonder if there is another way to deal with it that may help in the now and in the future. Have you someone, family or friend, that you trust and would be a confidant? Sometimes, just saying it out loud to someone you trust can help a lot. If not, try sitting in your favourite spot in the house and just say it (all of it) out loud. It is a huge stress reliever and sometimes will give you the answers you really are looking for. Might want to give it a try, it may help. It's just a thought. I can relate to your anger, that is my go to release as well. Always has been. The thing is I don't find it helps much, if any. Saying it out loud, for me, does help. Not a person to trust very easily, so doing it alone in my own livingroom is the best way for me. In the days ahead the answers come to me, once I have cooled off.
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But word to the wise: klonopin is for anxiety, and as such, is in itself a kind of depressant, so while I was on it, I wasn't in the freaked out panicked state that I'd been in, but as I put that behind me, I do feel the klonopin kept me from being "happy" - in the sense of happiness being more than just the absence of "unhappiness". I think that makes sense. In other words, the klonopin helped, but it wasn't until after I got off of it completely that I was really able to enjoy life again.
