Post by muskrat on Jul 6, 2020 23:00:28 GMT
Welcome, kiddies, to Uncle Muskie’s Alternate Reality Cinema, featuring reviews of yer favorite flicks you’ve never seen, from another level of the Tower—grasp the concept? In other words—we make em up. Movies that never existed, but damn well should have—or maybe so stupid it’s a good thing they didn’t. Sound like fun? Here, I’ll go first:
A Witch Shall Be Born (1939) dir. by Micheal Curtiz. Hot off the success of Adventures Of Robin Hood, Hal Wallis and Warner Bros. gather most of the same crew for another big budget, technicolor adventure to compete with Wizard of Oz and Gone widda Wind—this time starring a somewhat miscast Errol Flynn as Conan the Cimmerian in the first ever motion picture adaption of a Robert E. Howard tale.
Flynn does his usual best (it’s rumored for he stayed drunk on Vodka and black market laudanum throughout most of the shoot to maintain a ‘barabaric’ state of mind), but is simply too slim and pretty to portray a convincing Conan. The performance to look for is Olivia De Havilland tearing it up in the double role of captive Queen Taramis and her evil twin sister/imposter Salome. After countless roles as princesses and damsels in distress, it’s obvious Miss Livvy relished playing the sexy, wicked witch.
Other notables are sneering Basil Rathbone as Salome’s Voivode, Constantius, and Alan Hale, Sr, as the merry Vladislav, the Zaporoskan leader of a band of Zuagir desert raiders who chops the crucified Conan/Flynn down from his cross. Rich production values as are expected from a Curtiz production, music by an opiated Max Steiner, and as gory as any Cecil B. DeMille bibical epic, A Witch Shall Be Born beats any flying monkey or damn Yankee any ol day. Four out of five black lotus bulbs.
A Witch Shall Be Born (1939) dir. by Micheal Curtiz. Hot off the success of Adventures Of Robin Hood, Hal Wallis and Warner Bros. gather most of the same crew for another big budget, technicolor adventure to compete with Wizard of Oz and Gone widda Wind—this time starring a somewhat miscast Errol Flynn as Conan the Cimmerian in the first ever motion picture adaption of a Robert E. Howard tale.
Flynn does his usual best (it’s rumored for he stayed drunk on Vodka and black market laudanum throughout most of the shoot to maintain a ‘barabaric’ state of mind), but is simply too slim and pretty to portray a convincing Conan. The performance to look for is Olivia De Havilland tearing it up in the double role of captive Queen Taramis and her evil twin sister/imposter Salome. After countless roles as princesses and damsels in distress, it’s obvious Miss Livvy relished playing the sexy, wicked witch.
Other notables are sneering Basil Rathbone as Salome’s Voivode, Constantius, and Alan Hale, Sr, as the merry Vladislav, the Zaporoskan leader of a band of Zuagir desert raiders who chops the crucified Conan/Flynn down from his cross. Rich production values as are expected from a Curtiz production, music by an opiated Max Steiner, and as gory as any Cecil B. DeMille bibical epic, A Witch Shall Be Born beats any flying monkey or damn Yankee any ol day. Four out of five black lotus bulbs.
